Interview

So, I decided to ring in 2009 by participating in this interview. I found out about it over at Somi. If you have never checked out her blog I highly suggest that you head on over. Nilsa covers a little bit of everything from BlogSecret to just recently getting married and she is one of those bloggers that you will find there almost every weekday. I love that! To participate in this interview there are the following rules:

1. If you want to participate, leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” (And your e-mail address, please.)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Not too difficult, yes? So, Somi asked me the following questions.

1.) Name only one blogger you really respect and tell me why. I believe that the blogging world is similar to a collection of friends. In circles of friends there are typically different people who you would consult with on various things or for various reasons. Most recently I have huge admiration for this blog and journey. I truly admire boho girl's open heart, candor, and truth. Most recently she and her husband have adopted a lovely baby named Cedar. If you do not know the story of their adoption it is truly an incredible journey filled to the brim with amazing people. Her experiences remind me that often the road to what we long for is bumpy and drawn out, but that persistence, hope, and faith carry us through.

2.) If you had to pick a non-urban, U.S. destination in which to vacation for a week, where would you go? I would go anywhere that there were mountains, a small quaint downtown, and a lake. I can think of many places that I have been that fit this description, but I want to go somewhere new. Any suggestions that fall into this criteria???

3.) If you had $500 to spend on housing, food and entertainment for the trip mentioned in (2), how would you spend it? I would spend the majority of my money renting a small house where I could walk out my door and go on long hikes with my superpup. The remainder of my money I would spend on purchasing groceries. I love spending hours preparing a meal or making a new recipe when time is not a factor. The great thing about the mountains is that I barely need money for entertainment as I can be entertained by outdoor activites for free.

4.) Tell me about one person with whom you've lost touch. If you hope for a reunion, how would you like that reunion to take place? I was a United States Peace Corps Volunteer from September 2002 through November 2004 in Zambia. There were about 24 others that were apart of my group. I keep up with some of my fellow volunteers by phone, e-mail, or facebook, but one of my closer friends, Christina and I have completely lost touch. A bunch of us were together for New Years Eve in NYC to ring in 2005 and that was the last time that I have seen or talked to her. I would love to reunite with her. From a friendship that began in the bush of Africa we really would not need much entertainment. I would be all for a comfortable evening with no time constraints to sit outside, drink wine, and talk until there is nothing left but a comfortable silence.

5.) In 2008, what was your biggest achievement and your biggest failure/disappointment? I am going to take the liberty of beginning with the biggest disappointment first and then end on an up note here. Without a doubt the biggest disappointment of 2008 was the end of a long-term relationship with a man that I truly adored, the cancellation of our engagement, and the selling of our house. My biggest achievement in 2008 was the undercovering of a new path for myself which will include an extended trip to Europe, graduate school, and a new career path in 2009.

Well, that is it for the questions I was asked. Like I said if you are interested in participating leave a comment with your e-mail address. Happy New Year everyone!

Haunted

This year have been tough, raw, emotional, and exhausting to me. I have been silent for long periods trying to regroup. I have felt lost as well as completely stuck and honestly a bit miserable. Sometimes I feel like this is not the truth that people want to hear from me in person or on my blog, but it is my truth.

I have cried more in the last year than I have probably cried my entire life. That is not like me, but it is okay. I have felt pain in every crevice of my body. I am still feeling it everyday. It comes in waves of a flood of emotion. It can be spurred on by the smallest of incidents. See I am now haunted by a ghost. The memories lie everywhere. The house may have been sold, but I still see him in the smallest pieces of my everyday. He even haunts my dreams.

I open a drawer to pull out something to wear and I will see a shirt that I remember wearing when we did this or that. I took a roadtrip to see an old friend, but I had to pass the exit for the place we were supposed to say I do. I will pull on my favorite lounge wear and recall that these pants are not really mine. I will be out with friends and will see game scores for his favorite teams. Friends begin comments that they do not finish and in the silence we both know that he fills in the blanks.

I wonder when these feelings will end? When will I no longer feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat or scream at the top of lungs until I am hoarse? At what point, will I reside myself to the fact that there was nothing that I could have done differently to have changed the outcome? I look forward to a day that I can say this is how it was meant to be.

To Match or Not to Match

For those of you who have followed the tidbits of the past year, that I have shared, you know that this has been a trying year for me. Based on the events of the past months, several of my friends suggested that I attempt to resource an internet dating site such as match.com, eharmony, or chemistry.com. I must admit that I was less than eager about pursuing this option. I just think that you need to have your whole heart in it and mine is not there. Despite the conclusion that I came to I did decide to skirt over to match.com and check it out.

Some of you may have attempted this sort of dating resource before. I know that there are some success stories out there with individuals who met this way. Now, please do not misunderstand what I am saying here. I believe that such sites can be perfect, but I am just not interested at the moment. Now this is not to say that I won't be willing to try this out at some other time, but just not now.

Now if you have never checked such a site out then I truly suggest that you skip over to match.com and give it a go. Yes, I know that many who read my blog are married, have kids even, or are in committed relationships. I am just suggesting that for the sake of relating to my story here that you go and take a quick gander for yourself. You do not have to have a username or password set-up to take a look. You can just say that you are a woman (for example) seeking men (for example) within whatever area code. Now without a username and password you may not be able to really look at the details of a person's profile. However for the inexperienced out there this will give you the basic idea. Who knows maybe you'll come across someone you know.

Now, if you took my suggestion and took a look for yourself then you will be better prepared to understand the rest of my story or if you have previous experience with such sites then you may already be right here with me. So, I did exactly what I suggested each of you do and these are the things that drove me mad:

1. If everyone of your profile photos has 10 other people in them then if I where to met up with you somewhere how in the heck would I know who I was looking for?

2. I appreciate a guy who loves his mother, but can you not find a photo to use that does not include her? I don't know that just seems like a red flag to me.

3. When you are completing your profile there is a place where you can insert your annual income. Now is this really relevant? I thought that the idea was to find love, not a Sugar Daddy.

4. There is a section to talk about yourself and what you are looking for. Then there is a place where you can discuss what you do for fun, last read, as well your career, and your favorite things. Now the last part seems pretty easy and basic, however how does one really talk about yourself without giving all the intriguing info away before the first date. Also, reading some of the what someone is looking for sections are pretty interesting. I feel like I know the life story of some of these guys without ever having met them. Maybe, it's not that different from blogging then, yes?

If you have any interesting, funny, success stories, or tips regarding such sites then I would love to hear them.

Mosaic

This activity has been circling around and it provides a great opportunity to check out some of the incredible work on Flickr. I thought several of the resulting mosaics created were neat. Try it out if you want. The directions follow below.

Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr search. Using only the first page of returned images, choose your favorite and copy-&-paste each of the URL’s into the mosaic maker (3 columns, 4 rows).

The questions:

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you attend?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
10.What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your Flickr name.

Thoughts

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive-to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." Rollo May